Sundry Thoughts

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific  - Steven Wright

Welcome to today’s blog in which I wax rhapsodic about stores of Christmas Past.

It begins with a spool of thread and where to buy it. There used to be lots of choices. There were local stores dedicated to sundries. Department stores like Sibley’s in Rochester and Hengerer’s in Buffalo all had notions departments. National stores like Woolworth’s, and, to a lesser degree Penney’s were known for sundries. Now we are left monoliths like JoAnn’s and the Evil Empire from Arkansas.

Name Recognition

I have heard nothing but good about this cookbook by Fred Thompson. The word of mouth in the Food world has been nothing but positive. It is appearing on best of 2012 lists, in good company things like Thomas Keller, Bruce Aidells, Ruhlman/Polcyn and Jacques Pepin. William Grimes of the NY Times included it in his list, describing the author: he has a missionary’s fervor for the sides and vegetables that he calls, in his introduction, "the apex of Southern cooking.”

It is an American region deserving of more attention, and an oft overlooked aspect of the dining experience. In short, a book I'd enjoy.

But I am not just a cook, I am a policy wonk and a political junkie, and my first thought was of Watergate lawyer, Movie and TV actor, US Senator, presidential candidate, Fox News analyst and reverse mortgage shill Fred Thompson.

I can't be the only one who had to check.  Unfortunate, no?

A Moment of Bliss

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

John Hodgman and John Barrowman. I dare you not to laugh.

Thanksgiving Prep Tips by Chef Ted Forth

Francesco Marciuliano puts Thanksgiving into perspective.

Under the Knife

No matter where you go, there you are- Buckaroo Banzai

See that hip joint to the right? By the time you read this it will either be gone, or well on its way to being gone. Replaced by a metal marvel of medical science. (Cue the theme to the Six Million Dollar Man).

I've known that was this was coming since May, when the original diagnosis of a joint degenerated bt arthritis took place. The time is finally here. I just want it to be done. The house is arranged, the necessary equipment acquired and my papers are in order.

Over the past few weeks many friends and acquaintances have asked whether I was getting nervous about the operation. The simple answer is no. I did have a little bit of butterflies of the stomach last night, but that's no worse than appearing in a play, doing oral arguments or performing in Masonic degrees. The people that are really worried are likely my wife and my children (though the girls aren't showing it), but for some reason it doesn't seem to be affecting me. I suppose it is because for me I will go to sleep and I will wake up. Nothing will pass in between. 

To be blunt, I won't know if anything goes wrong.

The longer answer is that I learned a life lesson back in 1994. In April of that year I was involved in a fire. I eneded up in ECMC intensive care burn unit and the prognosis wasn't good – I wasn't even supposed to make it through the first night. Obviously the doctors were pessimistic and 10 days later I was released to rehab at the home of a friend.

It also gave me the best pickup line EVER! To a really cute nurse:

Me: Ya know when I'm back on my feet we should go out.

Her: Why should we do that?

Me: Well, you've already seen all my shortcomings . . .

The lesson I took away from this event is both simple and profound: the universe is not done f*cking with me. Not in life-changing ways perhaps, like when my mother died when I was only 13 years old, but rather in those ways that simply try men's souls . Death by a thousand cuts. Things like finding out that your first home is one of the sinking homes of Amherst. Or just when everything is going right in your new career, finding out that the job that you left a place of security for has evaporated before. The car trouble that always pops up when you have something planned for that bonus.

The oven quitting the day before you go to the hospital. Having to have a hip replaced

It all seems to work out, but the ride is sometimes ugly. Makes you appreciate how great your family is.

Life just likes to do those things to me and I'm certain that it will continue to do so for many more years. There's a term for people like me - schlemazel. Call me the Cosmic Schlemazel. It's an odd comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.

So while I don't look forward to the surgery tomorrow it is something that needs to be done and I will be glad to be behind me. I don't look forward to the period of rehab, but what sits on the other side of that rehabilitation is the ability to once again engage in some of the things that I've had to curtail over the past year.

I do have one hope for the surgery and I hope you will join me in that hope. As the anesthesia begins to drip into my system, and just before I lose consciousness, I hope I am able to exclaim in a loud voice: 

My God, it's full of stars.

See around the galaxy.

A Moment of Bliss

The Geek Barrier

The ringtone on my cel is the theme from Star Trek (TOS, of course). When I get a text a Dalek calls out "Exterminate!" I know this mostly because I have set them off myself. I have received less than a dozen calls over the years I have had a cel. Made just about the same.

The only texts I have gotten are from the phone company itself - a privilege that costs me minutes. That they do this is just an irritant. I have minutes to burn.

I have 2057.06 unused minutes. They are not going anywhere.

I am a tech geek. Really. I love this kind of stuff. I not only use a PC, I can crawl around under the hood and fix and replace things. Among those around the house there are three that a business was going to trash. I fixed them up and restored them as perfectly capable workstations. You can surf the web just fine, but they are a slow, and sluggish for streaming. So the kids aren't satisfied and prefer one of the laptops.

Yes, in addition to the four PCs there are two laptops. Not as easy to play inside but I have upgraded memory and replaced a hard drive and a DVD drive. I am on my second iPod touch making four in the house (iGor, iNigo, iNez and iDiot). A Kindle classic (Kendall) and a Fire (Kelvin). Two GPS units, a hand-held for geocaching and one (Evelyn) for the car.

You would think that having my own personal device right out of Star Trek would be something I'd jump at. You'd be wrong. I hate the telephone to the point of a phobia. That cold-calling gig in High School. Not one call. Making calls as a lawyer - a major trauma. Asking a girl on a date? Never by phone.

Aside from the fear factor, I hate getting my my train of thought interrupted. If a secretary was buzzing me through a hold-my-calls moment I would unplug my phone.

Most weeks, if you don't count calls to my wife, I make one call - to my parents. With caller ID, I  don't often answer it either.

A cel just takes the annoyance and my aversion and makes them portable. I am not going to answer in the car, and I don't want to be bugged in a store. I don't think much of people that do either. I won't be calling to find out if I have the right brand, or whether I should get the 14 or 28 oz can. I am certainly not interested in chatting when all I want to do is shop and be done with it. Neither will my wife. Nothing like that is so important.

It doesn't help that I have yet to use a cel that I can hear on (shut up, my hearing is fine). Please don't talk to me about bluetooth earpieces. I didn't like them before I saw "Rise of the Cybermen". (It's so cool that BBC actually created a Cybus Industries web site.)

The cel is for emergencies, though I have never needed it (knock on wood). The cel is so the kids have a lifeline when I leave to run errands.

Mine was the only one we brought on vacation two weeks ago. Never turned it on.

Since the beginning there was no cel plan that made more sense than Tracfone (what I really need is something that works like a pre-paid debit card - add money, use it up, add more money as needed). You buy minutes good for a specific period of time, if you renew you keep the unused minutes. They kept adding up. Then there were the signing bonusus. Then Tracfone sweetened the pot with double and later triple minutes. Trish was issued a phone from work so we merged our two phones' minutes. Voila - over 2000 minutes.

I have never gone below 1900. Even when trying. Hard.

We started with the basic, no-frills, low rent $9.99 phone. Other than a brief try with a flip phone (That Communicator thing, you know) that's what I had until last year.

But what about all those cool apps? Tracfone doesn't have a smartphone.

My need for apps is satisfied by the iPod touch. I have a bunch of apps - including the Star Trek Communicator app. I have cooking apps, news apps, books apps, fart noise apps, blogging apps and the app that makes my voice sound like a Dalek. Works fine with WiFi.

I even Skype.

There have been those times that I have needed an app when WiFi wasn't an option. And I have all those bloody minutes. So when Tracfone offered the LG800g touchscreen phone I splurged $35 on it. Java apps, alas, but basic web surfing, facebook, mapquest or a GPS, right?

Not really.

The browser that come with it sucks moose-genitalia. Other apps have to be purchased through Tracfone and, other than games, they don't have any apps. Want a ringtone? Nothing but their limited offerings. Managed to change the wallpaper, but there are those pesky fixed icons in the way.

Sideload an app and they function, if you don't mind getting interrupted every 15 seconds with a reminder that the app is not approved. Which might be OK. if the whole thing wasn't so frakking slow. And difficult to use. Walking the streets of DC this summer I needed a simple address. Forever. I walked eight blocks to Barnes and Noble and logged into their WiFi and got the answer. Still waiting an answer with the phone.

So that's my story. That's where I'll be until Tracfone offers a better phone or somebody else comes up with a better plan. That's why I have 2057.06 minutes I can't burn. At least until next week.

Then I'll have 2237.06.

A Moment of Bliss

Kitchen Rhymes

More Human Than Human

Above is Google's entry into the tablet computer market now dominated be Apple and their iPad. Since computers, especially tablets,  appeal to the inner geekI cannot believe that the name wasn't a conscious decision on the part of Google's marketing department to make reference to Blade Runner. Roy Batty and his fellow escaped Replicants were Tyrell Corporation Nexus 6 models. The tablets, after all, run Google's Android operating system.

But where the iPad hearkens to the bright future of Star Trek's PADD, this concept scares me. Just have to watch the DVD a few more times.

A Moment of Bliss

A Moment of Bliss

A Moment of Bliss

Tea Time

Pearls of Wisdom

Peace of Mind or "Nabisco, I Won't Be Bugging You Anymore"

I don't know why the can is so important to me, but it always has. A simple Premium Saltine can, white with a pale blue lid. It has been a fixture in my life as long as I can remember. When I was sick, and my Mommy made me soup, and out came the Can and the Saltines. On special occasions it was my Dad bringing out the Can, accompanied by a taste of pickled herring or herring in cream sauce. Part of the Jewish Holdiay tradition, I thought. Every Jewish family must have the Can.

Dad and Mom still have a Can at their house, albeit a more modern one ca. 1978 with a darker blue lid. I have joked that I want it to be left in me to me in the will. Or was that a joke at all.

It is been a personal quest, at places like flea markets and garage sales, to seek out a replacement for the Can.  One must have on in one's family. I'm not alone in this. Trish's family has One too, or at least they did until recently. Since I started discussing this I have learned that other friends had Them in their lives to.

Prior to a few days ago it was to no avail. Even annoying, quirky letters to Nabisco, the manufacturer of Saltines and the Can (Hey why don't you sell these Can's again and make my otherwise humdrum life complete) were to no avail. I did not give up.

The annual community garage sale was a week or so ago. We took our annual walkabout. Sometimes there are treasures, like the antique food scale I found last year. Not this year. The Can was there as always, in the back of my mind, but there wasn't much hope with this year's pickings. The sales were interrupted by an expected, if unwelcome, rain shower. When the skies cleared a few people reopened and we resumed our wander.

The Can came to the forefront when we found one guy selling a couple of Ritz cracker cans. Not quite a Can. but at least in the ballpark. Unfortunately, aside from not really being a Can, they were a bit rusty and overpriced. We were about to give up for the day when we found one gentleman closing up his garage sale stands. We wandered over and he offered us half off on anything that was left.

It was then that I spotted it. The Can. Sitting on the table coyly hiding. In Its voluptuous all but pristine form. Daring me to come over and look at Its price. I reached over and grabbed It. The sticker said 50¢. I'd pay much more, but the owner didn't have to know that. The owner and Trish were was talking about something else. She indicated she was perhaps interested in some wicker plate holders. Plate holders ha! I held the Holy Grail.

I brandished the Can aloft. "How about this", I exclaimed. The gentleman said that I could have It for free. We took it (and bought the plate holders). No I can, at long last find peace.

Cue "Thus Spake Zarathustra".

A Moment of Bliss

Father's Day 2012

From Alison this morning:

Top Ten Reasons You’re Awesome 

10. When you watch football or news you yell at the TV. 

9. Your jokes are 1,000,000,001 times funnier than any joke ever told by anyone. 

8. When we hike as a family you make everything hysterical and adventurous. 

7. When we get to spend time you and I laugh until our faces turn red 

6. Even sad things become a little happier when your there 

5. You’re shockingly firm with us but as nice and sweet as a tiny kitten 

4. You are the best chef ever, my favorite foods you make are meatloaf and cheese burgers. 

3. You always come up with good ideas to make everything exciting 

2. You are funnier than 5,000,000 circus clowns. 

1. You are never hesitant to tell how much you love us!

Alison and my Dad 6/17/12

Immutable Laws of Nature

We reside on one of innumerable worlds all conducted by the laws of Nature, unerring and immutable. π is a mathematical constant - a transcendental number being the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. c is the speed of light in a vacuum. Avagadro, Planck, Boyle Bernoulli all apply. The sun does not rise and set, its apparent movement is caused by the rotation of the Earth on its axis.

The Bills will disappoint me this season. Again.

These laws, and others like them, are not subject to faith based analysis. They vary neither due to mood nor expectation.  They apply today; they applied yesterday; they will apply tomorrow. If I drop this computer in a vacuum, there is no reason to question whether it will fall to Earth at 9.81 m/s². I must simply accept that fact. 

So there is no use applying deductive reasoning skills. There is no use in wondering if it will be different this time. Accept that it is as it always is. Lie back and think of England.

That car up ahead - seven or eight cars up. The one driving in a manner inconsistent with the clear road conditions, and lack of construction or emergency vehicles. The one that for no logical reason is holding a line of cars ten or fifteen miles under the speed limit.

It is a Buick.

Food Humor

For The Last Time: They Are Just Wings

But funny nonetheless.

This is a test.

Prepared using TextEdit: 

This is a test.

Prepared using Microsoft Word:

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
 <w:WordDocument>
  <w:View>Normal</w:View>
  <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
  <w:TrackMoves/>
  <w:TrackFormatting/>
  <w:PunctuationKerning/>
  <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
  <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
  <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
  <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
  <w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
  <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
  <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
  <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
  <w:Compatibility>
   <w:BreakWrappedTables/>
   <w:SnapToGridInCell/>
   <w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
   <w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
   <w:DontGrowAutofit/>
   <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
   <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
   <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
   <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
   <w:Word11KerningPairs/>
   <w:CachedColBalance/>
  </w:Compatibility>
  <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>
  <m:mathPr>
   <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
   <m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
   <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
   <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
   <m:dispDef/>
   <m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
   <m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
   <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
   <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
   <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
   <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
  </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
 <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
  DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
  LatentStyleCount="267">
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
   UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
  <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
 </w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
 /* Style Definitions */
 table.MsoNormalTable
    {mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
    mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
    mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
    mso-style-noshow:yes;
    mso-style-priority:99;
    mso-style-qformat:yes;
    mso-style-parent:"";
    mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
    mso-para-margin-top:0in;
    mso-para-margin-right:0in;
    mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
    mso-para-margin-left:0in;
    line-height:115%;
    mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
    font-size:11.0pt;
    font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
    mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
    mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
    mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
    mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
    mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
    mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
    mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
    mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->

<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a test.</div>

Any questions?

I Love When My Daughters Cook

I love when my daughters cook. Their is a sense of wonderment and joy when my daughters and I cook together. When I first taught them how to "push dough" the end result seemed to taste better. When they first started to take interest in making sauces, and dressings, and pizza topping and pies it has been consistently lovely.

I still cherish Ellie's First Recipe written years ago:

Radshe Olabey   

Ingredients
1 cup radshe
1/2 cup cheese
1 teaspoon Spice pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup chile pepper
1/2 cup bell pepper
1 cup time
 

Instructions
Put the radshes in a boll. Then grate some cheese. Then put the cheese in the boll. Put some pepper in the boll. Sprinkle salt in the boll. Cut both peppers and put them in the boll. Pick the leaves off the time, Cook for 2 minutes. If it's not hot enough when 2 is up put it in again for four minutes. When done and hot leave to cool somewhere. Enjoy!

Elanor Harris

Heh! Never we did get around to trying it.

As much as I love cooking with my children there is a very special thrill when they cook for me. Last Sunday, Ellie decided that she was going to make dinner for all of us. She found the concept and recipes she wanted online. She made just about everything from scratch. She made stuffed mushrooms which had a delightful flavor of both garlic and Parmesan cheese. 

She made her own meatballs. This was the only area in which we intervened.  Ellie's recipe called for ground sirloin, but we thought that ground chuck was a better choice. The meatballs were made and cooked off in a pan as directed, despite a different option presented (I am on Ellie's side).

When it came to the sauce Ellie chose canned whole tomatoes. She crushed them in her hands as necessary to achieve the consistency she desired. She seasoned them and even chose to modify the seasonings by introducing fresh herbs from our garden. 

She also made choux paste, and turned that into eclairs and cream puffs.

The result was delicious.

Probably would have been more so if I wasn't tasting them as leftovers. An event that I was attending ran way long, and it was past time to eat when I got home. 

I am still horribly proud of her!

Life's Too Short To Eat Bad Pizza

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air. - Steven Wright

Restaurant reviews are not my purview, but one area that I wish received more attention is the subject of take-out food - specifically takeout pizza. We ordered one last night for dinner, in part to celebrate the end of the Passover, in part because Nickle City Chef was that afternoon. Sometimes i like to watch other people cook. The result was unforgettable, which is not good because I wish I could forget it.

I have issues with the way restaurant reviews are handled by some. I have personal reasons that I don't do them myself. Therefore, I have no reason to share with you that the crust was bland, the tomato flavor nonexistent, the basil niggardly in its application, and the wings with that spongiform texture only developed by an extra long stay in the freezer.

But none of those problems alone would've kept me from giving this restaurant/pizzeria at least one more try. What did was the fact that I had to turn on the oven before even trying the pizza.

I know that takeout pizza is never going to be as good as pizza eaten in a restaurant. What may be a shatteringly crisp crust is sure to suffer from being transported. However it seems to me that the combination of oven temperature and holding temperature should be sufficient to transport it home without the necessity of immediate reheating.

It is no surprise that the pie from our current nearby favorite is always warm when we bring it home - it's less than three miles from here. Sometimes we miss the pies from the previous occupant of that premises and bring it in from another location just over ten miles away. It's still warm. Our favorite pie is over six miles away. Warm. The fact that this particular pizzeria could not maintain the pie at a temperature sufficient for it to stay warm after a mere four and a half miles is simply unacceptable.

Better than Pizza from a vending machine, I'd guess, but more disappointing.

Oh, for those who need ratings I'll give it two dingleberries.

ETA: Just opened the mail - there was a coupon for them.

A Moment of Bliss

Passover Humor

http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/2012/04/April-10-2012/

It Don't Mean A Thing If It Ain't Got That Dyng

One side-effect of the abnormally warm spring is that the pussy willows have already come and gone. This puts a giant crimp in the plans of those who look forward to celebrating Dyngus Day, an obscure holiday of Eastern European (pagan) origins. Virtually unknown in most of the civilized world, it has grabbed a foothold right here in Western New York. In a manner similar to other holidays celebrated locally - St. Patrick's Day, Columbus Day, Tuesday - it is often used as an excuse to drink copious amounts of Labatt's Blue.

It seemingly involves dousing an unsuspecting female victim with water, and striking them with pussy willows (And virgins. Virgins are always somehow involved in such antics). With the pussy willows fuzzing so early local Dyngus Masters, or Dyngies, urged participants to gather their hirsute wands early, lest they be forced into the use of a prosthetic Dyngus.

So, let the word go out that Buffalo isn't just about losing Super Bowls and Buffalo Style (insert your substance here). We can also talk proud of our saturnalia of waterboarding, ritual flagellation, and virgins. Lots of virgins.

Pass the Blue . . .






4/9 - Edited for timlinesss

Stock vs. Broth: The Final Answer

Watch it wiggle, see it jiggle.

A single question has long occupied center stage in the culinary world: what is the difference between a stock and a broth and a bouillon?

Does it have bones or just meat. Strained or clarified or nothing at all. The liquid leftover as a result of cooking. A pristine fluid resulting from the painstaking simmering of expensive ingredients or the odds and ends that are the residue of cookery.


What does Escoffier say? Or McGee. Can it come from a can or box. What about pastes or cubes.


I, Scott D. Harris, have undertaken to find a definitive answer by a painstaking analysis of the reference material available in my library. The graphic below really is a link to the data resulting from that meticulous research, together with citations to the source material.

Now, as a result of my punctilious analysis, let me, Scott D. Harris, at last put this debate to rest at once and for all in simple, yet authoritative terms:

Shut the FRAK up and cook!

Why I Don't Do WNY Restaurant Week

What a great idea. A celebration our wonderful local restaurant community. A chance to taste offerings from some of our finest local cooks. A fixed price based on the year - how cute. This seems such a perfect way to introduce people to parts of the local food scene they might not otherwise sample.

I do not partake.

I do my best to support an promote all aspects of the local culinary milieu. Good friends, good cooks, man the stoves at local restaurants. I was once a restaurant cook.  This does not work for me.

I don't like crowds or crowded situations.  The one and only time I attended Allentown,I freaked so bad that a dear friend hustled me to the privacy of a bar - The Cathode Ray. (Luckily he was there to protect my virtue. Don't even think of coming into my kitchen while at work*. I have been know to walk away from crowded eatery.

Thus I tend to schedule my visits to restaurants at off peek hours. During LRW there is no such thing.

A corollary is that I want the kitchen to be on its game when I am there. I want the wait staff, bartenders and bus boy at their best. A true test of any restaurant is how they handle getting slammed, but this is an artificial "slam" and the dividing line between "rock n' roll" and  "in the weeds" is razor thin.

The price is also an issue. $20.12 prix fixe sounds like a good deal, but for four with simple beverage and gratuity costs you are talking $120 for a family of four. And the menu is usually limited.

Underneath all of this is a foreboding feeling that this exercise is counterproductive . I hear annually of people who had a great time, often despite the heavy traffic. I wonder how many more went and were disappointed. The restaurant not only loses their custom, but that of those they may speak to.

So I celebrate LRW as I have in the past - shopping at local merchants, food and otherwise, and continuing to stand on the sidelines cheering for our restaurants.

*A restaurant kitchen is different, the cooks dancing a delicate ballet, talking to each other and knowing what they will do.

I Can't Wait!

Doonesbury - For Those Who Aren't Getting It

Doonesbury - For Those Who Aren't Getting It

Doonesbury - For Those Who Aren't Getting It

Doonesbury - For Those Who Aren't Getting It

Doonesbury - For Those Who Aren't Getting It

Doonesbury - For Those Who Aren't Getting It

A Little TLC

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world - George Washington

Watch as I carefully dissect this Chilli. Overkill? Perhaps, but this is not an ordinary chilli. This fruit, capsicum annuum,was personally liberated by me from the garden on the extensive grounds of Mount Vernon - the estate of the Father of our Country.

Yes, a chilli stolen from land once trod upon by George Washington, soil tilled by George Washington's slaves, visited and fertilized by notables of the Colonial Period.

Was this plant around when George and Martha lived there? Of  course not. But I picked it at Mount Frakking Vernon. Carefully air-dried it. Left it neglected in plain sight until today I decided to plant it.

I hope it grows. It'll make a cool hot sauce to gift.

Robin Lenhard

Don't read stupid articles on Yahoo.

A Friend

A Moment of Bliss

Fun With Leftovers

Roast Turkey, Cooked Red Beans and Bean Broth, Mashed Cauliflower, Onion and Garlic and Harissa. Good Lunch.

The Web Ain't Nothing But A Network

Wednesday night I attended a Buffalo Web Foodies panel discussion on Social Media and Food presented By the Social Media Club of Buffalo. While the topic is of obvious interest to me, the main reason I attended was that two of the speakers  were friends, Christa Glennie Seychew and Deborah Clark.

I had a good time and I do not regret going.  I met a friend face-to-face that I had not met before, and I made a new friend. I can't help but thinking that the organizers missed an opportunity. The odd thing is that the opportunity missed is the same one as at the first event I attended with Christa.

There was no chance to voice my own opinions or otherwise interact with other participants. A little networking would have been nice. I came loaded for bear with a stack of newly printed business cards, but only passed out a couple. While our e-mail address was requested when we signed in, nobody took down the information of those of us who have or the names of those interested in starting one. It might've been a good idea to put together a list of this information and post that on the SMC website.
As I said, I had a good time and I would do it again. I just would not pass up the opportunity presented.

As always, YMMV.

A Moment of Bliss