Life's Too Short To Eat Bad Pizza

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air. - Steven Wright

Restaurant reviews are not my purview, but one area that I wish received more attention is the subject of take-out food - specifically takeout pizza. We ordered one last night for dinner, in part to celebrate the end of the Passover, in part because Nickle City Chef was that afternoon. Sometimes i like to watch other people cook. The result was unforgettable, which is not good because I wish I could forget it.

I have issues with the way restaurant reviews are handled by some. I have personal reasons that I don't do them myself. Therefore, I have no reason to share with you that the crust was bland, the tomato flavor nonexistent, the basil niggardly in its application, and the wings with that spongiform texture only developed by an extra long stay in the freezer.

But none of those problems alone would've kept me from giving this restaurant/pizzeria at least one more try. What did was the fact that I had to turn on the oven before even trying the pizza.

I know that takeout pizza is never going to be as good as pizza eaten in a restaurant. What may be a shatteringly crisp crust is sure to suffer from being transported. However it seems to me that the combination of oven temperature and holding temperature should be sufficient to transport it home without the necessity of immediate reheating.

It is no surprise that the pie from our current nearby favorite is always warm when we bring it home - it's less than three miles from here. Sometimes we miss the pies from the previous occupant of that premises and bring it in from another location just over ten miles away. It's still warm. Our favorite pie is over six miles away. Warm. The fact that this particular pizzeria could not maintain the pie at a temperature sufficient for it to stay warm after a mere four and a half miles is simply unacceptable.

Better than Pizza from a vending machine, I'd guess, but more disappointing.

Oh, for those who need ratings I'll give it two dingleberries.

ETA: Just opened the mail - there was a coupon for them.