Peace of Mind or "Nabisco, I Won't Be Bugging You Anymore"

I don't know why the can is so important to me, but it always has. A simple Premium Saltine can, white with a pale blue lid. It has been a fixture in my life as long as I can remember. When I was sick, and my Mommy made me soup, and out came the Can and the Saltines. On special occasions it was my Dad bringing out the Can, accompanied by a taste of pickled herring or herring in cream sauce. Part of the Jewish Holdiay tradition, I thought. Every Jewish family must have the Can.

Dad and Mom still have a Can at their house, albeit a more modern one ca. 1978 with a darker blue lid. I have joked that I want it to be left in me to me in the will. Or was that a joke at all.

It is been a personal quest, at places like flea markets and garage sales, to seek out a replacement for the Can.  One must have on in one's family. I'm not alone in this. Trish's family has One too, or at least they did until recently. Since I started discussing this I have learned that other friends had Them in their lives to.

Prior to a few days ago it was to no avail. Even annoying, quirky letters to Nabisco, the manufacturer of Saltines and the Can (Hey why don't you sell these Can's again and make my otherwise humdrum life complete) were to no avail. I did not give up.

The annual community garage sale was a week or so ago. We took our annual walkabout. Sometimes there are treasures, like the antique food scale I found last year. Not this year. The Can was there as always, in the back of my mind, but there wasn't much hope with this year's pickings. The sales were interrupted by an expected, if unwelcome, rain shower. When the skies cleared a few people reopened and we resumed our wander.

The Can came to the forefront when we found one guy selling a couple of Ritz cracker cans. Not quite a Can. but at least in the ballpark. Unfortunately, aside from not really being a Can, they were a bit rusty and overpriced. We were about to give up for the day when we found one gentleman closing up his garage sale stands. We wandered over and he offered us half off on anything that was left.

It was then that I spotted it. The Can. Sitting on the table coyly hiding. In Its voluptuous all but pristine form. Daring me to come over and look at Its price. I reached over and grabbed It. The sticker said 50¢. I'd pay much more, but the owner didn't have to know that. The owner and Trish were was talking about something else. She indicated she was perhaps interested in some wicker plate holders. Plate holders ha! I held the Holy Grail.

I brandished the Can aloft. "How about this", I exclaimed. The gentleman said that I could have It for free. We took it (and bought the plate holders). No I can, at long last find peace.

Cue "Thus Spake Zarathustra".

A Moment of Bliss

Father's Day 2012

From Alison this morning:

Top Ten Reasons You’re Awesome 

10. When you watch football or news you yell at the TV. 

9. Your jokes are 1,000,000,001 times funnier than any joke ever told by anyone. 

8. When we hike as a family you make everything hysterical and adventurous. 

7. When we get to spend time you and I laugh until our faces turn red 

6. Even sad things become a little happier when your there 

5. You’re shockingly firm with us but as nice and sweet as a tiny kitten 

4. You are the best chef ever, my favorite foods you make are meatloaf and cheese burgers. 

3. You always come up with good ideas to make everything exciting 

2. You are funnier than 5,000,000 circus clowns. 

1. You are never hesitant to tell how much you love us!

Alison and my Dad 6/17/12

Immutable Laws of Nature

We reside on one of innumerable worlds all conducted by the laws of Nature, unerring and immutable. π is a mathematical constant - a transcendental number being the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. c is the speed of light in a vacuum. Avagadro, Planck, Boyle Bernoulli all apply. The sun does not rise and set, its apparent movement is caused by the rotation of the Earth on its axis.

The Bills will disappoint me this season. Again.

These laws, and others like them, are not subject to faith based analysis. They vary neither due to mood nor expectation.  They apply today; they applied yesterday; they will apply tomorrow. If I drop this computer in a vacuum, there is no reason to question whether it will fall to Earth at 9.81 m/s². I must simply accept that fact. 

So there is no use applying deductive reasoning skills. There is no use in wondering if it will be different this time. Accept that it is as it always is. Lie back and think of England.

That car up ahead - seven or eight cars up. The one driving in a manner inconsistent with the clear road conditions, and lack of construction or emergency vehicles. The one that for no logical reason is holding a line of cars ten or fifteen miles under the speed limit.

It is a Buick.

Food Humor

For The Last Time: They Are Just Wings

But funny nonetheless.

This is a test.

Prepared using TextEdit: 

This is a test.

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This is a test.</div>

Any questions?