This is the dawning of the Age of Colossus (where peace is compulsory... freedom is forbidden... and Man's greatest invention could be Man's greatest mistake).

Ah, computers. I love them. I'm a sci-fi geek so how could I not.  However, if it is possible to be both a geek and a Luddite and I am one. I love playing around with my gadgets, my toys and my apps as much as any person, but I also find myself resisting change. When I get a new computer with the newest operating system the first thing I do is reset the desktop to something that most resembles Windows 95.

As the complexity of computer programs continues to expand so does the necessity for technical support. The web is filled with resources for the expert and the newbie alike. The best of these take the form of YouTube videos where you actually see the cursor moving across the screen. It doesn't matter if the narrator sounds like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off - these are the most helpful. Second to that are the tools and tutorials that take the form of screenshots of your computer screen showing precisely where to put your mouse to perform the action you are seeking.

The worst are those that simply say use thefrimjamitz  ribbon  to activate this Norcor and include the SQL code swizzles Creddles scrum. But as I have been struggling to master the rudiments of Microsoft Access 2007, it has become clear that my biggest obstacle is finding the proper terminology to phrase my question.  This limits my applicability of "answers" I find, and when I find one myself it turns out to be easier than anything I see on the web. I don't know the solution, but if you know Access, and want to help me out, you get a complementary bottle of Uncle Scotty's Atomic Retrofire Hot Sauce.

Heh.

M M M My Aroma...

http://www.rhymeswithorange.com/

Need I elucidate?

Too Good To Pass Up

From today's Buffalo News:

LAS VEGAS (AP) - Laughing tourists were either cynical or confused about whether a man was really suffering a medical episode amid the "doctor," ''nurses" and health warnings at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, a restaurant owner said Wednesday.
"It was no joke," said Jon Basso, who promotes himself "Doctor Jon," his scantily-clad waitresses as nurses and customers as patients.
Basso said he could tell right away the man in his 40s eating a Triple Bypass burger was having trouble. He was sweating, shaking and could barely talk.
Paramedics were called Saturday night, fire spokesman Tim Szymanski said, and the man was hospitalized. His name and information about his condition weren't made public.
Giggles can be heard on the soundtrack of amateur video showing the man on a stretcher being wheeled out of the restaurant where patrons pass an antique ambulance at the door and a sign: "Caution! This establishment is bad for your health."
Eaters are given surgical gowns as they choose from a calorically extravagant menu offering "Bypass" burgers, "Flatliner" fries, buttermilk shakes and free meals to folks over 350 pounds.
Basso said he hopes the man is OK, and added that he felt bad for him because tourists treated his misfortune like a joke.
"We would never pull a stunt like that," he said.

What's In A Name?

I remember that I admired them from first moment I heard of their enterprise. I remember that when I first tasted their product it was love at first bite. The most important thing, is that I remember exactly where it was that I became friends with the two entrepreneurs behind Lloyd the Taco Truck. It was a fundraiser for them, after their truck broke down shortly after they opened. 

It was very clear from the start of the event that they were in the weeds. Too many locals showed up to support them.  Along with Buffalo music legend Nelson Starr, I stepped into help them out. Nothing has been the same since. 

This afternoon while walking through a local market perusing hot sauces, a pale green label caught me eye. Lloyd's soon to be famous Rocket Sauce is now available day and night.  Of course, I had to buy two bottles for myself - one for the display and one to taste. 

The taste was as I remembered it, unsullied by the bottling process. Then I read the label. To my dismay it listed chilis (sic) as an ingredient.

The fruit of the genus Capsicum is a Chile, though my preference is Chilli which is closer to the original nahuatl and avoids confusion with the Country. Chili refers to a stew of meat and chillies, whilst Pepper is something you put in a pepper-mill. Chilies (on the Lloyd website) is right out.

I realize that some authorities suggest otherwise.  They are wrong.

You may now go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlors . . .  I hope our friendship will survive.

But Opie Grew Up . . .

"People have referred to me as the Richie Cunningham candidate: a little bit too clean and upstanding, but you know what? Contrasting that with what's going on out there in the popular culture, a little bit of Richie Cunningham wouldn't be a bad thing for our society right now." - Rick Santorum.

 

 

 

Here is the problem: Ron Howard grew up, directed wonderful movies, won an Oscar, and sired a stunning daughter (yes a redhead). He also grew up politically, i.e. his 2008 internet ad with Andy Griffith and Henry Winkler. What he didn't do is remain mired in a mythical, simplistic vision of America that not only never existed, but could have never existed.

Mr. Sweater Vest, you are no Richie Cunningham. 

Yeast

I buy instant yeast in bulk and keep it in the freezer 'til needed. I know it is not necessary, but I proof it anyway. There is something miraculous at the moment the critters explode in a bloom. Besides, microflora flatulence makes me hot.